"God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry..." John 4:17-18 (The Message)
For the past few days, I've had a number conversations with different people who are struggling through relationships with family members. People who are frustrated that they give more love than they receive. People who feel like they aren't getting enough from family and that their response towards them is lacking. People who are hurting because of words said or actions taken that didn't comfort, calm or encourage but instead destroyed. People arguing over simple things that have now become unmanageable. People with different perspectives that seemingly can not find common ground.
I understand the hurt that these individuals feel and expressing the wrongs that have been done feels like the right thing to do and on the surface seems comforting. I know that what you continually rehearse in your thoughts will eventually become the image that you have of yourself, good or not so good. So, I have shared the same advise with all of them. So I decided that I would share it with you because its advise that helped me when I was in the same mindset.
Instead of focusing on what the family member didn't do that's negative, think of as many things that you can that highlight what they did do that was positive. And in the moments when thoughts surface that are negative (ie they didnt call when you needed and they knew you were having a crisis, they didnt show up to that monumental event in your life) and those negative thoughts make you angry, heartbroken or sad, change your thought process towards the things that the person did do that are positive. You may have to think really hard but try to remember at least one good thing, it doesn't need to be huge or significant, it just needs to be positive.
Festering in a mindset of anger and confusion never settles anything and only serves to defeat and deflate the way that you see yourself. The Bible says that love when applied in its Biblical context in the manner that God loves us and instructs us to love one another will mature within us such that our fears are banished. Fear surfaces in many ways even through thoughts of abandonment, rejection, worry, confusion and loss of love. Fear cripples your life and as long as your focus is on your fears you can never clearly see the path to the promise.
I have tried this and I assure you that if you embrace a positive mindset and let His love cover your thoughts your life will change for the better.
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